Hey my lovely friends!
A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned in passing (or maybe shouted it from every platform I could find, but we don't need to go into that now) that I'm writing an E-book on how to help folks to step into their authentic radiance.
I wanted to share chapter one with you guys and ask for your feedback!
How does this read? Is it interesting? Does it make you want to read more?
Please feel free to critique as much as you like ... I'm open to make changes and I promise that I'll try to take it well ... I have been known to be quite sensitive (**snorts into cornflakes, like the queen of sensitivity**) so if you absolutely must rip me to shreds, please do it constructively and with a certain amount of diplomacy! I can take it ... I'm ready ... :-)
Love you all and I look forward to your comments ...
Step one of ACTIVATING your RADIANCE
Make a commitment to your own health right now!
I lay curled on my side on a hospital gurney in a dingy A&E department in southern England… agonizing pain racking my body. Still in my work uniform with my plastic name tag digging into my breast, I found myself wishing for unconsciousness.
‘Please let me pass out’ I intoned ‘Please make it stop’
I had already thrown up my lunch and struggled through the close down of my shift as the pain gradually increased and a fever began to take hold. Running to the bathroom for what seemed like the 3000th time that day, I had washed my face with shaking hands and looked up at my reflection in the mirror...I had turned a beautiful pastel grey/green colour that wouldn't have looked out of place on the walls of the hospital which I now inhabited, my lips white and my skin like paper.
‘I think I need to go to the hospital’, I had groaned to my boss who had taken one look at me and ushered me carefully out of the office with strict instructions to leave the building before dying.
Staggering outside, I had only just made it to across the road to A&E before collapsing, dramatically, into the waiting room, thus ensuring my immediate despatch onto a gurney and into a corner… where I now lay, wishing for blissful nothingness.
I had been having symptoms of kidney stones for years but when nothing was found to be wrong with me, I simply ignored it and hoped it would balance itself out on its own. To pee had become the bane of my life and the sight of a toilet bowl now instilled within me the kind of dread one only knows if one has suffered with a urinary tract infection. Every time, unbearably painful (imagine, if you will be so kind, trying to pass urine that has been turned into flaming gasoline by some mischievous wizard) and had started to smell. I ignored my plight … cystitis wracked me almost every week and still I ignored myself… only now, after living with this hell for months and only when the pain had built to a sickening crescendo had I finally decided to seek out more help.
This was the third time I had been to A&E in the last 3 months … each time, finding nothing and being sent away with antibiotics or painkillers, a pat on the head and assurance that I would pass the stone and then I would feel alright again. I pretended to believe it, even though my intuition stood in the corner raising its eyebrows and tugging at my sleeve.
I made a commitment to myself then, lying on that gurney, in the corner of that dingy hospital with the grey/green walls that I would work tirelessly to discover the root of my suffering and heal it. I decided that no matter what the cost, I would not give my life over to chronic illness and endless hospital visits that yielded nothing more satisfactory than pills to kill every single living organism inside my stomach. I committed to my healing 100% and then, with a wonderful sense of having achieved all my goals for the day… I passed out.
Fast forward a few years and my chronic bladder infections, fevers and undiagnosable kidney stones are a thing of the past. I haven't had even a twinge of cystitis for over 18 months and my health is bouncing (much in the flopping manner of a puppy with overlarge feet) onwards and upwards. There have been a few wobbles, for sure, but my commitment to my health has never wavered. This has meant that I have had to drop any judgements I may have had in the attempt to explore a vast array of healing methodologies ranging from western to traditional chinese medicine to acupuncture to crystal healing to yoga therapy to shamanic drumming and coaching and more… I became unstoppable in the search for answers and so, of course, I found them.
A simple allergy to wheat had caused years of discomfort and months of pain. If I had committed to my healing and listened to my body earlier, I could have worked this out way before that last agonizing hospital visit. The signs were there… I just didn't have the resources to read them.
Now, my commitment to my healing isn't over simply because I found out what was troubling me… no, this commitment goes much deeper than that. I am 100% committed to healing from my past traumas. I am 100% committed to listening to my body and I am 100% sure that I never want to end up helpless and hopeless with skin the exact shade of a hospital wall again.
If you have read this story and think that this doesn't apply to you, think again… we don't need to be physically ill or mentally traumatized to make a commitment to our health. It also doesn't mean that we have to have strict rules (dietary or other) in place that will only lead to frustration. Making a commitment to our health simply means that we will take some time out to listen to our bodies when we are in any kind of situation…
How do we feel when we eat certain foods? Does our stomach immediately bloat out afterwards? Do we feel unnaturally tired after consuming something? Do we crave certain foods? How do we feel after eating, drinking, talking about certain things or watching TV? Do we feel numb? Do we feel bored, lively, energetic, happy, sad or something else? How do we feel when we talk to certain people or when we place ourselves into certain situations? Did that interaction make us uncomfortable? Angry? Frustrated? Satisfied? Emotional? Stressed? Do we need to visit the doctor or homeopath? Should we swallow our pride and go and get that niggling pain or past trauma some help?
We don't even need to do anything about it at the time but simply by taking a fraction of a second to acknowledge how we feel in any given situation will dramatically shift our perception of how healthy that situation is.
Be honest and real with yourself …and don't scrimp on it! Our body is our only home whilst we are here and if we need help but aren't willing to spend some resources (be it time, money or other) to get it, then we aren't ready to be healthy. Harsh maybe, but think about it … what the hell is anything in this world worth if we aren't strong enough to enjoy it?
Health is wealth, peace of mind is happiness - Swami Sivananda
What can I do today? Exercise roughly 10 mins.
Stand up!! Right now! Go on, and go to one side of the room you are in (if that's possible, if you are in a public place or something then simply imagine that you can divide the space into two halves)
Imagine that the room has been divided down the middle. You can colour them if you are a creative little soul or simply imagine a line down the middle
The half of the room that you are now standing in is the ‘staying put’ half of the room. You don't have to move from here if you don't want to, you can simply walk closer to the other half of the room and take a look into the other side
Look at the other side of the room. That side is now the ‘commitment to my health’ side of the room. How do you feel about it? Does it feel like you are ready to make that sort of a promise to yourself? Don't do anything right now … simply look and feel what it would be like if you were to make that decision. How would your life look if you were to step into commitment to yourself? Does it stress you out? Does it feel empowering? Do you feel strong or bold or free when you imagine stepping over that line? Feel and look. Start to deepen your breathing and let your imagination run wild!
When you are ready, take a step closer to the line and, if you feel like it, step over the line and into commitment to your health! You may feel a certain sense of achievement and that's great! You may feel nothing and that's also great! Simply imagine how a sense of empowerment and achievement at your decision would feel
When you have made the decision and stepped into commitment to your health, take out a sheet of paper or your phone (but I have to admit, hand writing things in these situations is quite powerful) and start a new note
Write down the date, time and your name and copy this sentence - “I, ‘your name’, have today committed 100% to my health. I have stepped into responsibility for myself and for my ultimate wellbeing and from this day forward I am an unstoppable advocate for self love and care. I am an incredible being and I honor and love myself!” Decorate it anyway you like and stick it up somewhere you can see it
Celebrate your commitment! Well done, you have just taken the first step towards Activating your Radiance!
If you liked this chapter and want to read more, simply sign up on my website to receive your free Yoga tutorial and not only will you get to work on your Sun Salutations with me but you'll also be the first to get a copy of my book when it's done!
Much love and hugs,