My 2019 started with more of a mewl, than a bang ... I spent the evening with my husband watching silly movies and alternately getting up to watch the fireworks from our balcony and trying to block out the noise of the fireworks from our balcony. There was some confliction about the enjoyment factor, for sure.
Over the course of the last year, I feel that there has been a huge change within me. With the start of 2018, I had already created a page in my 'vision diary', applied for roughly 1 000 000 art projects, started a 'pay what you can' offer for my portraits and had secured a job at one of the largest Yoga studios in Vienna. I was laid up in bed after having a knee operation, but that didn't stop me from marketing, painting, creating classes and generally stressing about 2018. I had made a big (quite public) commitment to calming down and ended up more full of stress than before.
By September, I had created 1 - 2 portraits a week, including new pieces ... as well as teaching, trying to market myself and enjoying all the other ludicrously busy things that a self-employed person has to endure. I was facing burn-out and I literally had to put my paintbrushes away and go and sit down for a couple of months.
When the new year rolled around, I was quite relaxed after my rest period and since the discovery of CBD oil (that has revolutionised this insomniacs sleep schedule), I felt good about simply allowing 01.01 to float on by without much ado. Which is exactly what I did. I didn't post on social media, I didn't create any meaningful, spiritual, bullshit crap to spew out about 'new beginnings' or 'starting fresh' (things that I had been guilty of in the past), I simply stayed home and let it in.
Which is what I fully intend to do for the rest of the year!
This is my 40th year in the world ... I'm tired of constantly being stressed about aiming for goals and going after my dreams. I don't want to fight or struggle anymore. I have no desire to create a schedule or to keep logs. I'm not going to create a 'game plan' on how to achieve my personal best in 2019. I'm sick of striving to 'be the best I can be' and all of that utter bull-crap.
I just want to enjoy my time here before I'm too old.
So for 2019 - No resolutions, no stress, no spiritual nonsense ... just me, accepting things, relaxing and maybe going on a couple of trips to help with the wander-lust.
Life is good, I'm going to live for me and the people in my life who mean the most to me.
That's it. Peace out!